Christy Wopat, who received the Norbert Blei/August Derleth Nonfiction Book honorable mention award for Almost a Mother: Love, Loss and Finding Your People When Your Baby Dies published by Orange Hat Publishing, tells us why she wrote this memoir and what the Council for Wisconsin Writers award means to her. An excerpt from her book follows her remarks.
CHRISTY WOPAT
I write so that people know they are not alone. I write so that humans can be comforted by the words of others. For Almost a Mother to be recognized by such a distinguished council of writers is an absolute dream come true. My goal is to get this book, these words, into the hands of as many readers as possible, specifically those affected by a grave loss. Thank you, thank you to the Council of Wisconsin Writers for this tremendous honor and I am so thrilled to continue on my journey as a Wisconsin writer.
Dear Reader,
If you are reading this, there’s a likelihood that you or someone close to you has just lost a baby. First, please know that there are no real words for the pain that you are feeling. This grief is like no other, and your grief is like no other.
I wrote this book because after my infant twins died, I couldn’t find anything on the shelves at the bookstore that was actually honest. I found books about grief, sure. Books written by psychologists on the stages of grief and books that assured me that I would find my answers in prayer. This isn’t meant to replace those. Those books are necessary, but in the raw, emotional weeks and months after losing my twins, what I wanted to know more than anything was that I was not crazy.
I wanted to know that the thoughts and feelings I was having didn’t mean that I was the crazy lady on the made-for-tv movie who lost a baby and then went around stabbing people. I needed to know that I was not alone.
I wanted to know that my rage against the pregnant lady checking out at the grocery store didn’t mean that I was suddenly a terrible person. That I was going to be okay.
In the pages of this book, you may disagree with thoughts or feelings that I have about grief. I tried very hard to make it known that in no way do I think that my thoughts are the only “right” ones. On the contrary–I know that everyone has their own journey. I just need to share mine in the hopes that someone can connect and maybe find some peace.
What I hope more than anything is that you find some solace in knowing that you are not alone. That the hard work you are up against will be worth it. That some day the edges of the pain will eventually dull and, with any luck, the memories will turn into loving thoughts about the precious babies we lost.
I’m not going to lie–it might be a while. In the meantime, hang in there. Find your people and lean on them. You’ve got this.
All my love,
Christy Wopat